Anchibride

AFTER THE CEREMONY: ALL TOGETHER!

2009-02-22T16:00:00.000-08:00

At most Sri Lankan weddings, regardless of the couple's ethnicity or religious background, there is a "settee" or couch where the bridal couple sits together and poses for photographs following the ceremony. Here, traditional group photos are taken of the couple, the wedding party, and the couple with their families and any other important guests. Thus, the "settee" has a central position in Sri Lankan wedding receptions, and is decorated with elaborate floral displays called "settee backs". These comprise a good portion of a couple's wedding floral budget!

This was not the case in the past, when couples just sat at the settee following the ceremony and were served wedding cake and drinks, which they would then feed to each other. In recent years, however, floral "settee backs" have become increasingly bigger and grander, a development that seems to overwhelm the simple significance of the setting, itself: a place where the newlyweds share the first symbolic rites of feeding each other and standing together with their families.

I do have to say, however, that I loved both our settee, an antique provided by the florist, and our settee-back, which was created using large Asiatic lillies and coconut palm branches to evoke Sri Lanka's lush and beautiful tropical landscape. These stood in tall, glass vases where lillies were also submerged in the water. It was breathtaking! I wished I could just sit there for hours and hours.

Here we are at the settee, posing with our wedding party:

Here is a separate photo of the settee, by itself. I wanted this image to remember this beautiful creation:

Now, whenever I see pictures of Asiatic lillies, it reminds me of our wedding!

FOLLOWING THE CEREMONY: LIGHTING THE OIL LAMP

2009-02-22T14:42:00.000-08:00

Immediately following the Poruwa Ceremony, the bride and groom hold hands and step down off the Poruwa together, and then go and light the traditional oil lamp or "Pahana". The lighting of this oil lamp is a part of almost all ceremonies in Sri Lanka, whether at weddings or at other events with audiences (such as business luncheons, professional get-togethers, etc.). We lit an oil lamp following our engagement and marriage registration ceremony, as well as at our Homecoming.

The "lamp" for our wedding was different, however. The reception florists were Asoka's cousins on his mother's side, and they did an absolutely stunning job at our wedding. Like pretty much everyone in Asoka's mother's family, they have an amazing artistic sense and creative flair, and it was his cousin Shirani Akki who suggested that, instead of the traditional brass rooster or "kukula" lamp, she could design a structure that resembled a little tree, hung over with little glass candleholders with tealights that we could light the same way we would the wicks in an oil lamp. I thought this was a grand idea! I saw the actual creation on our wedding day, and it just blew me away! It looked like a little tree, with coconut frond branches at the top and clusters of leaves and flowers all over. Here we are, lighting it:

The little page boys had a ball running around and through the "pahana", chasing each other as the drummers played and we lit the candles. It was so memorable!

I loved the "lamp" so much that I begged Dammika to please take photos of it, so that I could always remember it. He obliged, and here is a picture of it, by itself:

I particular adore the little cluster of lillies on the top!

The flowers at our reception were one of the most gorgeous and memorable highlights of our wedding. I will always remember them!

HOTEL PHOTOS

2009-02-22T14:15:00.000-08:00

On our album, our wedding photographer Dammika De Alwis alternated photos of the ceremony with group shots taken in both the hotel lobby and grounds. I thought that was a great way of arranging the images, so that seemed like a good idea to do on this blog, as well. Here goes ...

This wonderful group shot was taken by one end of the pool. I love how happy we all look!

This is one of my favorite group shots, taken in the covered lobby of the hotel. I love the placement of all members of the bridal party:

This was an accidental shot, taken right at the moment when everyone relaxed and laughed! It's one of my favorite images of my family members:

Background, L-R: Loku Maama (mother's elder brother), Ravi Maama (my aunt Shiromi's husband), me, my mother, Erin Punchi (mother's younger sister) and Shiro Punchi (mother's youngest sister, and mother of my bridesmaid Chivanthi as well as grandmother of flowergirl Dushaakya!); Forgeround: my grandmother

This photo captures the warm golden light of the hotel lobby really well; I love how the mirror reflects everything in the background:

These are some more of my favorite hotel photos, and every time I look at them I feel thankful that we booked the Taj Samudra for our wedding. Not only were the lobby and grounds really beautiful, but it was also very convenient for our guests, who did not have to drive out of their way to come to our wedding.

When we set out to book a hotel, we found that almost all the ones in Colombo proper had been booked for over a year! This is because Auspicious days are the most popular for weddings among Buddhists and Hindus in Sri Lanka, akin to Saturday evenings in June here in the U.S.! However, we were able to book the smaller "On Golden Pond" hall at the Taj because our wedding, with less than 200 guests, is very small by Sri Lankan standards, and thus, the smaller reception halls are not snapped up as quickly as the bigger ones. Another thing is that smaller halls are usually very utilitarian and not anywhere near as pretty as the bigger halls. On Golden Pond has the almost unheard-of combination of charm (with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out into the gorgeous gardens), beauty and coziness. I felt very lucky that it was available on our day!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MR. & MRS. OBAMA!

2008-10-03T11:31:00.000-07:00

Here's a lovely photo from their wedding 16 years ago:

I wish them a long and happy life together, and I hope Asoka and I can be as happy as the two of them. What an inspiration!

THE GIVING OF GIFTS

2008-08-18T10:31:00.000-07:00

Another important part of the Poruwa Ceremony is giving gifts to parents and other, elder family members. The bride's mother is given the first gift, a length of fabric with the traditional bundle of betel leaves atop the gift box:

Since Asoka's mother passed away, his aunt (his mother's elder sister) stood in for her, and here we're giving her the gift that is given to the groom's mother. I love the rich detail of her sari, in this photo.

WATER

2008-08-18T10:22:00.000-07:00

The photos of our uncles pouring water on our tied fingers are among my favorite images of the Poruwa Ceremony. I particularly love this shot, taken from beneath! I think it's a novel angle and a warm, evocative image.

I also love this close-up shot of the water streaming from the jug onto our tied fingers. The details of the burnished jug and the jewel-like liquid are really wonderful!

TYING THE KNOT ... LITERALLY!

2008-08-18T10:15:00.001-07:00

The most important part of the Poruwa Ceremony is when the couple's little fingers are tied together with a thread by their maternal uncles, who then proceed to pour water from a little jug on their knot-tied fingers. This is an ancient ritual, variations of which are found in many different cultures.

I love this photo, taken from my father's camera, of the two uncles tying our fingers together! Asoka's uncle is in the foreground, with his back to the camera, while my uncle can be seen turned sideways. Both our uncles were our mothers' elder brothers. I was soooo thrilled that my uncle could come to Sri Lanka from Canada to perform this ritual, for me. I wanted no-one else but him to do so!

A SARI AND A NECKLACE

2008-08-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

After stepping onto the Poruwa, the groom has to drape a new sari (usually red, but nowadays any color is chosen) around the bride's shoulders, which symbolizes his assumption of a husband's duties to provide for and take care of his new wife and the family they will raise. In the photo below, you can see the sari Asoka has draped on me. I chose it at a wonderful little shop in Wellawatta, a neighborhood in the heart of Colombo known for its many sari shops. I loved its burgundy color.

Next, the groom has to also tie a new, gold necklace around the bride's neck. The photo shows Asoka doing this. The necklace he gave me is an heirloom, made of gold, pearls and diamonds and designed by his aunt. It was breathtakingly beautiful! I felt very, very honoured to be given such a treasure!

MAKING AN ENTRANCE!

2008-08-18T09:52:00.000-07:00

In Sri Lanka, most Buddhist Poruwa ceremonies are preceded by the entrance of the bride and groom with their respective family members. The groom's group goes first, followed by the bride's. Before each group, there is often a wonderful, lively procession of Kandyan drummers, dancers and singers singing traditional nuptial songs. When the singers first started singing was when both I and my mother got lumps in our throats, as we realized, "This is really happening!" It was an exciting moment, one I still remember vividly.

PORUWA CEREMONY

2008-08-17T18:38:00.000-07:00

The Poruwa Ceremony is the main event in Sri Lankan Buddhist weddings. During this ceremony, the couple are symbolically married, with the signing of the marriage license that legalizes the union done separately.

The "poruwa" itself is a small, raised platform with a canopy above it, onto which the bride and groom step up from either side, assisted by each one's maternal uncle (or another elder male from the mother's family). The ceremony is led by a man who chants the prayers and instructs the bride and groom on what to do. He ties their little fingers with a thread (comparable to a neopagan handfasting ritual), and the two uncles then pour water over their fingers while prayers are chanted. Before this, the groom has to drape a new (usually red) sari over the bride's shoulders, symbolizing that he will provide for and take care of her from now on.

Next, gifts are given to the elder members of both families (starting with the bride's mother), and songs called Jayamangala Gaathaa are sung by a group of young girls. The couple then untie the knots on each other's fingers and step down from the Poruwa.

This is an abbreviated description of the whole ceremony, which used to take hours, but now has been pared down to about thirty minutes! The bride and groom don't say a single word during this ceremony, and I really liked that. I think it enriched the ceremony with symbolism and great meaning. I liked the fact that the actions performed spoke for themselves, without the need for words.

Following are some pictures taken with my father's camera. This first one shows the moment right before we both stepped onto the Poruwa:

(Click on the above photo for more detail -- you might have to click more than once)

Asoka and I, along with my mother, went to the workshop of the Poruwa designer, Mr. Wimal Jayawardana, in Kiribathgoda outside of Colombo. Here, we picked a Poruwa design we liked and paid a deposit to secure their services on our wedding day. We picked this particular Poruwa because it was fashioned after the pillars of the Temple of the Tooth in Kandy, my mother's hometown. The backdrop is composed of strings of gorgeous jasmine blossoms! We asked them to drape extra jasmine strands on our Poruwa, as I loved their scent. This they did, most splendidly!

I highly recommend Wimal Jayawardana for his Poruwa structures. He designs are nothing short of magnificent. You can see some of his work on his website: wimaljayawardana.com

Here's a photo of the two of us after we stepped onto the Poruwa:

(click on photo for more detail-- you might have to click more than once)

UPDATES COMING SOON -- STAY TUNED!

2008-08-17T13:56:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!
I want to apologize for not updating this blog enough. I have loads more photos to add, from the ceremony, the Going Away, the Homecoming, and other events too. I've been having some issues with my scanner, and as those are resolved, I'll upload more pictures.

In the meantime, I'm going to add some amateur photos taken with my father's camera as soon as possible.

Stay tuned! And thank you all for your wonderful, sweet comments. I'm really thrilled that so many people from around the world have been checking out this blog and enjoying the photos! :0)

BY THE POOL!

2008-05-04T17:11:00.000-07:00

Our photographer, Dammika, took quite a few photos by the Taj Samudra hotel pool. I wasn't too thrilled about that on the day, because I thought we'd end up with some of those cheesy poolside shots that you find in so many Sri Lankan wedding albums, but I went ahead with it anyway, figuring he's the professional and must know what he's doing.

Am I ever glad I did! The resulting photos were some of the most striking and beautiful of all the shots he took. The turquoise blue of the pool made for an amazing backdrop ... people were even asking me whether he used one of those "screen" backdrops that a lot of photographers use for wedding shots, and I had to convince them that it was just the swimming pool!
This is us, by the pool. Dammika enlarged this shot to poster-size and gave it to us to use at the entrance at the Homecoming, and later hang on the wall of our home. The enlarged version was even more beautiful than the smaller one in the album. I love the detail that comes out in this image.

Here's another great shot, of the groom and groomsmen by the pool! They all look really good!

Here are the bridesmaids, flowergirls and I. One of the things I particularly love about this shot is the contrast between the rose pink of the bridesmaids' saris and the turquoise blue of the swimming pool. The colors look just luscious.

HOW I CHOSE OUR WEDDING COLORS

2008-05-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

One of the most time-consuming things I did for our wedding was choose the colors. This might seem like a frivolous or superficial thing to do, but I was very serious about it, because I know that a well-planned color scheme can make or break the "look" of the whole event, and I didn't want to peruse our wedding photos years from now and cringe. I'm a person who's very, very visual, and I love to draw and paint and design things (which I've done almost all my life), so the aesthetic of our wedding was very important to me.

Believe it or not, I based the wedding colors on what the groom and groomsmen were going to wear, instead of just picking a color I liked! I found out pretty quickly how hard it was to color-coordinate a Kandyan wedding where the groom and other guys wear traditional Nilame suits, because these outfits are far more elaborate and bejewelled than anything the women wear, unlike in western weddings where the men's attire is quite simple and somber, and the bride's dress takes center stage.

When the men are in Nilame suits, you have to take care to get everyone's attire -- bride's, attendants', children's -- to harmonize with them in both look and feel, or risk looking rather "off", as the vast majority of Kandyan weddings do, because the men's elaborate clothing tends to overshadow everyone else's. At one point, I was soooo wishing I hadn't asked Asoka whether he'd like to wear a Nilame suit, and just gone with his original plan to wear a western suit-and-tie, because that would have made the job of choosing colors a lot easier!

To add to this problem, Nilame suits only come in a few colors: bright red used to be traditional, but nowadays the trend is for dark burgundy shades, as well as dark blue or even ivory. Thank goodness for that. I think the bright red looks a bit garish. At first, Asoka was going to wear his father's red Nilame suit, which he'd worn before for temple functions, but the suits they had to match it at the outfitters' shop in Polgahawela were quite worn-out, so thankfully he chose to get the burgundy ones, instead.

I had bought my sari before all this, in London, but I knew that it would go perfectly with his outfit because it was of a heavy, rich, pure-silk brocade that was embroidered with beads and sequins, including teeny-tiny burgundy beads that you can't see right away, but harmonize beautifully with the colors of a Nilame suit. ^_^ For the bridesmaids, my mother and I spent hours and hours at the fabric shop comparing colors, to see what would best match both the ivory-gold of my sari and the ivory-gold-burgundy of his suit. The trend in Sri Lanka, nowadays, is to choose colors like gold, brick-red, orange, etc., as these are thought to be the best matches for the reddish shades of Nilame suits.

However, my mother and I discovered that these colors actually didn't go as well as ... pink! I couldn't believe it. I'd been determined not to have bridesmaids in pink, but I just couldn't deny how well it went with dark red, so I gave in. Besides, the pink we chose wasn't some cotton candy pastel that would be a bit too nauseous, even for me, but a lovely rose pink that would look gorgeous in Sri Lanka, where you find so many tropical flowers of that same color.

The bridesmaids' saris were brought over from India by one of our very dear school parents, Sangeetha Narayanan, whose family runs a sari-weaving company near Chennai (formerly Madras) in the South Indian state of Tamil Nadu. I loved the beautiful saris as soon as I saw them! They were just perfect! For the flowergirls, instead of dressing them in outfits of the very same color fabric, we decided to make their attire in a paler, matching rose pink, bordered in strips of brocade from the bridesmaids' saris. In Sri Lanka, flowergirls almost always seem to wear the same color as the bridesmaids, and I think this feels like a massive visual overdose of the chosen color. I thought that a paler shade would look much more harmonious, overall, and more pleasing to the eye, and I was right! This worked out really well! In addition, the underskirts of all the femal attendants' outfits were in a shade of dusty rose, which matched the Nilame suits so well that even I was totally surprised.

For the little pageboys, what's usually done is to dress them in miniature Nilame suits, but I think this is kind of bizarre. Nilame suits are meant for adults, not children, and I didn't want to burden two spirited little boys with uncomfortable outfits that would restrict their ability to run around and have fun. Sangeetha had also brought us lengths of silky, gold-bordered, cream-colored fabric (meant for making men's Sherwani suits, back in India) that matched the bottom half of the groom and men's Nilame suits, and from this fabric we made little traditional "Aariya-Sinhala" suits for the boys. That worked out really well too! All the children, both boys and girls, had the freedom to play and run around at the reception, and that was the most precious sight to see!

I sometimes still marvel at how well the colors coordinated and matched, in our wedding. The pink of the women's and girls' attire looked particularly beautiful against the rich, tropical greens in the hotel gardens, and they all looked like flowers in bloom! The slightly overcast light of that morning made everything look dreamy and ethereal, and my sari seemed to shimmer! I will never forget the beauty of that day.

MY FAVORITE WEDDING PHOTO -- BY THE BO TREE

2008-04-26T10:35:00.000-07:00

This is my all-time favorite wedding photo. I can never get enough of looking at the beautiful tree in this image. I don't know exactly what kind of tree it is, but it looks very much like a Bo tree -- the kind that grows all over Sri Lanka, even in the heart of a big city like Colombo. They are sacred to Buddhism, because the Buddha was said to have attained enlightenment under the shade of a Bo tree. These trees have gnarled trunks and hardy roots that you can sit on like a bench! Every Buddhist temple will have a Bo tree growing in its courtyard, where people go to worship and meditate. Few trees symbolize the spirituality of Sri Lanka than the Bo tree.

I love the trees of Sri Lanka. You can't really find trees like that here in California, and for some odd reason I really miss them. I guess that shows how deeply connected to nature human beings are ... or I am, at least!

BEAUTIFUL, TROPICAL SRI LANKA

2008-04-23T06:56:00.000-07:00

One of the things I insisted to the photographer was to take the posed photos outdoors, in the expansive grounds of the Taj Samudra hotel, instead of in a studio room as it's usually done. I know of no other hotel in Colombo (Sri Lanka's capital, where we chose to have our wedding because it would be the most convenient destination for all our families and friends) which has more extensive grounds than the Taj Samudra. Indeed, I chose the Taj because of the beauty of its gardens, where you find great expanses of the gorgeous tropical trees and greenery found throughout Sri Lanka. To me, few things symbolize Sri Lanka better than its trees and natural beauty, and I wanted that to stand out in our wedding photos, because Sri Lanka is the land of our birth.

The first outdoor photo was taken by the hotel pool, with a backdrop of huge stone vases filled with greenery and flowers, typical for Sri Lanka. You can catch a glimpse of how green the landscape is from the above photo; behind us, you can see banana tree branches.

Here, you can really see the beauty of the coconut trees that are emblamatic of Sri Lanka's tropical landscape (and the landscape of any tropical country, really). Coconut trees usually grow very tall in Sri Lanka (they're the first thing you see as the plane descends onto the airport runway), but on the front lawn of the Taj Samudra are these shorter versions, which make for an enchanting backdrop!

Here is the traditional full bridal party photo, taken on the hotel grounds instead of in the studio room, where every other such Sri Lankan wedding photo I've seen has been taken. The hotel did have a studio room, but thankfully we never used it! In this photo, the sheer gorgeousness of the coconut branches swaying in the breeze makes for the most amazing backdrop!
I deliberately chose the bright colors of the bridesmaids' and flowergirls' outfits, because I knew that they would match the vivid colors of the tropical surroundings better than others. I adore this photo!
I tell Asoka all the time that now, every time I see coconut trees, they remind me of our wedding!

**Click on each photo to view an enlarged version**

THE TWO OF US BY THE WINDOW!

2008-04-20T09:33:00.000-07:00

I just love these shots that the photographer took of me and Asoka by the hotel room window (I've explained more about these kinds of photos in the post below this one). These were taken right after we were all dressed and readied for the wedding. Asoka came in to hang out with us all in our hotel room, which was just a hive of activity with everyone getting dressed and prepared. And yet, in these photos you don't see any of the mess and confusion of everyone running around trying to get ready! It all looks so calm and orderly and serene, lol!

I have such fond memories of that pre-wedding time, though, and looking through these photos reminds me of that so vividly.
(**Click on a photo to view an enlarged version**)

BY THE WINDOW!

2008-04-20T08:41:00.000-07:00

The photographer and his assistants (there was a little gaggle of them!) came into the hotel room to take photos of all of us in the wedding party, and this is where the effect of the beautiful, subtle early morning light really came through. These photos are among my favorites of all the ones he took.

The Portrait by the Window is one taken by most of the wedding photographers in Sri Lanka, because most weddings are done in hotels. This is mainly due to the ginoooooormous guest lists in most Sri Lankan weddings, where the average guest count is something like 400. Our wedding, with around 175 guests, was truly tiny by Sri Lankan standards! Anyway, since there are so many guests at Sri Lankan wedding functions, very few people (unless they're wealthy) can handle the logistics of the traditional home wedding, which was the norm in my grandmother's day. Thus, the hotel ballroom or a Reception Hall (which have sprung up like mushrooms all over the country, even in the tiniest and most remote villages) is utilized for both the ceremony and reception.

Since the bridal party all gather together in the bride's or groom's hotel rooms prior to the wedding ceremony, the photographers take many pre-wedding shots in that room, and the Portrait By the Window is almost always taken, at this time.

So, here are some of ours. There weren't any of Asoka and the groomsmen taken in their hotel room, but Asoka came to the room after we were all dressed, and we had some shots taken with him there, then. **CLICK ON EACH PHOTO TO VIEW AN ENLARGED VERSION**

The Girls & I! (Front, L-R: Dushaakya Kodituwakku, my cousin's daughter; me; Sanduni Weerasinghe, Asoka's niece; Back, L-R: bridesmaids Neera Thavasingham, our friend from London, and Chivanthi Karunaratne, my cousin)

Asoka by the window ... wearing his glasses! I love this photo (especially because of the glasses)

(L-R: Neera, me, Chivanthi)

Moi

(L-R: me and my mother!)

My mother had kept this sari all these years to wear at my wedding! It's a type of sari that's only made in a certain region of southern India (I forget what kind it is), and was brought for us by one of our former school parents, several years ago. I love its gorgeous colors!

My sari was bought in London, from the shop Neera's mother took us to in a neighborhood called West Ham. I'll describe it more in detail, later! ^_^ The BMs' saris were specially woven by a sari-weaving company owned by one of our current school parents, from the near Chennai in the state of Tamil Nadu, in southern India. The flower girls' outfits were sewn in Sri Lanka using fabric from the shop Fashion Fabrics on Galle Road, in Colombo, but edged in bands of brocade taken from the BMs' saris. They all matched so well, and everyone looked just beautiful!

VERY FIRST BRIDAL PORTRAITS

2008-04-18T12:46:00.001-07:00

These were some of the first bridal portraits taken of us ... by the hotel elevator, of all places! It turned out to be the perfect setting, with its soft, dreamy lighting. I can't believe our photographer's intuition to even choose a setting like that. It's much more natural-looking than a studio room, and unusual yet perfect. I love how the light seems to make my sari all shimmery-looking.

Our amazingly-talented photographer was Dammika De Alwis. Check out his website: www.dammikaphotography.com

He takes gorgeous, artistic yet natural-looking photos, and I can't believe just how talented that man is! Choosing him as our photographer was one of the best decisions we made about the wedding.

THE STORY BEHIND THE PHOTO

2008-04-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

Whee! The first scanned photo (below) seems to look quite nice on Blogger. Not so much on Flickr ... don't know why. But anyway, thought I'd explain the photo a bit. It's a 3 generation shot of myself (the bride), my mother (in the peacock blue-and-orange sari) and grandmother (in front). I love this photo! Our photographer was posing us for it, but either my aunt or cousin snapped a pic too, and somehow I like her one better than the photographer's one. I love how this photo shows the details of my bouquet and the leafy backdrop of the trees behind us.

It had rained earlier that day, which made for a slightly overcast sky that seemed to make everything just shimmer! The light was diffused and just perfect for photos. I couldn't believe our luck, with that! Usually, since Sri Lanka is close to the equator, the light is quite bright and harsh even in the daytime, or too gloomy when it rains. But on our wedding day it was beyond perfect. I took this to be a good sign!

FIRST PHOTO --TEST

2008-04-18T12:36:00.000-07:00

I'm going to try and post the very first photo from my wedding. It isn't one of the pro pics, but it's one of my favorites, taken by either my aunt's or cousin's (not sure which, exactly) camera. It's of me, my mother and my grandmother, before the ceremony:

I want to post this photo first as a test, to see whether it's clear or fuzzy (my scanner's not the best).

*** Click on the photo to see the enlarged version ***

I'M BACK

2008-04-14T18:17:00.000-07:00

I just returned from Sri Lanka last Friday. I had to leave my new husband behind, as we have to wait for his visa to be processed and approved by the State Department ... hopefully, this won't take too much time.

It was very sad for me to leave him behind, after months of bonding in Sri Lanka, but such is the life of any U.S. citizen (me) who marries a non-U.S. citizen (him). They must all play the waiting game of the visa application process. It's really frustrating.

I'm counting the days till we can be together in the same place, again.

As soon as my scanner gets hooked up again, I'll scan photos of the wedding, which was just incredible! It was truly one of the happiest days of my life!

So, stay tuned ... ^_^

BLING

2007-11-25T21:19:00.000-08:00

Throughout South Asia, brides who have traditional religious weddings (be they of Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, Sikh, or any other ancient faith) are decked out in masses of jewelry. In earlier years, this jewelry used to be made of gold and real gems, but nowadays most women wear costume jewelry, except for the traditional necklace that the groom has to tie around the bride's neck (during the wedding ceremony, itself), which is of pure gold.

In Sri Lanka, brides who wear white saris and veils do not wear anywhere near the amount of jewelry that traditional Hindu and Buddhist brides wear, usually choosing a pretty necklace, earrings, bracelets, etc., to complement their attire. Traditionally-attired Buddhist and Hindu brides, on the other hand, are draped in more blang than gangsta rappers.

Udarata Sinhala brides wear traditional South Indian "temple" jewelry, so-named because this is what temple dancers in South India have worn for thousands of years. However, nowadays, in Sri Lanka the style of this jewelry has evolved into something rather different from what it once was -- it's a subtler and often less colorful style than what is found in South India.

Today, most udarata Sinhala brides must rent their entire set of wedding jewelry from someplace (usually a bridal dresser), because sets of jewelry are no longer kept in each family, to be passed from bride to bride as they were in my grandmother's (and even my mother's) day. Both my mother and grandmother wore traditional jewelry of gold and real gems, but these have been divided among family members and are no longer in one set.

I didn't want to rent a set of jewelry, and I didn't much like the newer style of the traditional jewelry that's available in Sri Lanka, today. I wanted to wear the real South Indian-style temple jewelry that my mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and most of the other women in my family wore, in the past. And because we didn't know, until Asoka and I got engaged, where my wedding would take place, my mother has collected all the traditional necklaces and other ornaments for my bridal jewelry set, from India. We were aided almost wholly in this, throughout the years, by our school parents from South India, who brought different pieces of temple jewelry for us whenever they visited their homes in India. Most of this jewelry was from the state of Tamil Nadu in South India, where the most beautiful temple jewelry is found. Today, this jewelry is worn by both Indian and Sri Lankan Hindu and Buddhist brides, as well as women who practice the art of Bharatanatyam Dance, an ancient form of South Indian dance that is very popular all over the world.

My wedding set is not made of real gold and gems, of course, but the jewelry is just gorgeous, and the very traditional style looks almost exactly like the real thing! Below, I've given some examples of what I'll be wearing with my wedding sari.

First, there is the headdress, worn on the crown of the bride's head, with the little pendant-part hanging against her forehead. In Sinhalese, this headdress is called a "nalal-patiya". In Bharatanatyam dance, it's called a "Mathapatti". The two little "brooch"-like ornaments on either side of the headdress are worn on either side of the bride's head, and represent the sun and the moon:

In addition to the headdress, I'll also be wearing seven necklaces, most of which are variations of the style shown below, and called "maalai" (= necklace) in Tamil. The Sinhalese word is almost identical: "maala", and the bridal "maala" vary only slightly from ones like this:

(courtesy of: http://www.shubhanu.com/Maalai-3.htm)

These necklaces hang in graduated lengths down the front of the bride's sari, ending in the longest necklace, called the "pethi-maala" or "petal necklace", which is composed of little pendant-like pieces. In my jewelry set, this pethi maala was the only one my mother and I bought in California, at the gem and jewelry traveling trade fair that came to Sacramento last month! It was not assembled, yet, but we bought all the little ornaments to get strung on a thread in Sri Lanka. They were just exquisite!

In addition to all the necklaces, Udarata Sinhala brides must also wear heavy bangles on their wrists, and dangling earrings that match the necklaces. They might look like this:

(courtesy of: http://www.shubhanu.com/Earring-4.htm)

Quite a load of jewelry! But, I think the end-result is utterly beautiful. For instance, here's a photo of a Sri Lankan Tamil bride wearing this kind of jewelry:

(courtesy of http://www.bridesofsrilanka.com/bridalsaree.htm; Photograph by Duminda Munasinghe)

And here's an example of a Udarata Sinhala bride wearing a similar-style of traditional jewelry:

(courtesy of http://www.bridesofsrilanka.com/bridalkandyansaree.htm; Dressed by Anoma & Angeeka Athukorala)

I've always been fascinated by why Udarata Buddhist bridal jewelry is the same as South Indian temple jewelry. I have to research this! One possible reason that came to my mind, however, is that when Sri Lanka was a series of kingdoms, its princes and kings often married princesses from the South Indian kingdoms (especially Andhra Pradesh). The Kandyan kings of the Udarata area were no exception. Since these royal brides would bring their own dress and jewelry to their new homes in Sri Lanka's hill country, I have a feeling that this is how South India's jewelry styles made their way into Sri Lanka.

SHOWER 2 SHOWER

2007-11-12T20:49:00.000-08:00

Yesterday (Sunday), I got to go to the second bridal shower thrown for me, this time by the Sri Lankan ladies in this area, and organized by our friend Himali, for whom Ammi and I threw a shower several years ago. It was really wonderful! I feel quite overwhelmed by everyone's love and good wishes!

We played several fun and silly Bridal Shower games, ate tasty hors d'oeuvres made by everyone, and they got a chance to see our engagement photo album! We all had a blast! I now have such wonderful memories of these happy days leading up to our wedding. ^_^ I feel so blessed!

Here are some pictures from the shower:

The above photo shows us all in the midst of playing one of the Shower games, which had us all in stitches! As you can see, there were several generations of Sri Lankan women here, which made it all the more special and wonderful.

One of the most fun and hilarious games involved dressing up a volunteer "Bride" in a bridal gown fashioned of toilet paper! There were two teams, and each got to "do" up the "Bride" in a toilet paper dress, after which I had to pick the best dress! I had a really hard time choosing a winner. They were both fabulous!

The winner of the Toilet Paper Wedding Dress competition was Himali, on the left! Check out the rad TP bouquets!

(L-R: Taniya, Aunty Celine, Aunty Ruby, Chandrani Akka (Aunty Ruby's daughter), Aunty Subashini's mother, Aunty Subashini, Jayantha Aunty, me, Ammi, Placida Akka, and Kushari)

Here we all are, standing around the cake table! Himali and her mother Jayantha went to great lengths to decorate Himali's house in beautiful, pale blue balloons, tulle, candles and fabric for the shower, and I was really impressed with the beauty of their decor! There was even a lovely cake with my and Asoka's names on it! It all made me feel really special and cherished!

The sweet, wonderful, awesome hostesses of the Bridal Shower! Himali is on my left, while her mother, Jayantha, is on my right. My mother is at Jayantha Aunty's right. I feel like the luckiest of brides-to-be!

One of the great things about the Shower was that I got to talk to other Sri Lankan women, who'd had their weddings in Sri Lanka, about what that experience was like, and a little about how things worked, etc. This was invaluable, for both me and my mother, because we've never experienced putting together a wedding, at all! They made it all sound like a lot of fun, though, so that was really good! All in all, a wonderful day!

YOU'RE INVITED

2007-11-10T16:52:00.000-08:00

One of the things that gave me a rather big headache, believe it or not, was invitations. I've seen Sri Lankan wedding invitations galore, and have never been all that impressed with them, except for some of the more traditional designs, which I always loved. However, for my own wedding, I thought I'd like to get invitations from India or the U.S., as they have such beautiful card designs in these countries.

So, one day, just for fun, my mother and I went down to Papyrus to browse through their invitation catalogs. And wouldn't you know it -- I fell in looooove with this Vera Wang (yes, she does invitations too ... and no, I can't believe it, either) design, with a little lotus print in gold at the top. Swooooooon!

No, really: I almost fainted when the Papyrus girl told me the price for the number of invitations we'd need: close to $700. Even my wedding photography is cheaper than that.

I was quite upset about that, but there really wasn't anything I could do. I wouldn't pay $700 for wedding invitations even if I had that kind of money to spend.

The next morning, when my mother checked her email, she found a forward from a guy she knew in Sri Lanka who worked at a bank. Someone he knew had started a new wedding invitation company in Sri Lanka, called Siyapath. What's more, they had a website (http://www.siyapath.com) with all their designs! I looked through them, and just loved their work! And since they're in Sri Lanka, the cards would be a hundred times cheaper than what I'd pay here. Plus, they had many beautiful traditional designs that really caught my eye.

Here's one I particularly like:

(courtesy of: http://www.siyapath.com/gallery/card_more_details.php?id=16&tbl=tbl_designs&img=card_designs/)

This is not the design Asoka and I have tentatively chosen for our invitations, but it features a lot of the same elements: in front is the traditional Sinhalese wedding motif of the "Hamsa Puttuwa" or Pair of Swans. As in many other Asian cultures, swans symbolize marriage in Sri Lanka, because they are thought to mate for life. I loved how Siyapath features great Hamsa Puttuwa-s and other traditional motifs in their invitation designs. They have the most creative traditional-style graphics I've seen in any Sri Lankan invitations.

I can't wait to go to Sri Lanka and choose the actual cards! That's the first thing I'm going to do. I've also got all the paper, ribbon, etc., that I'm going to use as embellishments for our invitations. I think it'll come together quite nicely. ^_^

If you're curious about traditional Sri Lankan wedding motifs and invitations, check out the Siyapath website! It's a really wonderful site, with some gorgeous designs. They also have free computer wallpaper downloads! It's a site that's well worth visiting.

CAST A WIDE NET: FAB WEBSITES FOR WEDDINGS

2007-10-28T17:21:00.000-07:00

I visited the following websites when I needed to get wedding-related "stuff" (you know, all those little-bitty knick-knacks you realize you need, all of a sudden, and do not want to waste money on). The following websites are really great for getting little things for weddings at very inexpensive prices, way lower than what you'd pay at stores (I know, I did a lot of comparison-shopping), even when you factor in shipping charges. I'm so grateful for these sites:

1) eBay (www.ebay.com): I got everything from organza bags for favors to colored skeleton leaves here! The best prices are from auctions, and right now there's a lot of stuff up for grabs because it's not quite wedding planning season here in the U.S. However, even if you don't win anything you bid on, most vendors' Buy-It-Now prices are also much lower than what you'd pay for the same things at stores.

2) JKM Ribbon (www.jkmribbon.com): a wholesale ribbon website (which also sells other craft supplies) that has the best prices on beautiful ribbon from lots of companies! You can get most of the brand names (Offray, Berwick, etc.) that you find in U.S. crafts stores, at much, much lower prices. They also have the lowest prices I've found anywhere for personalized ribbon, which I got with Asoka's and my names for our wedding cake boxes. You have to give them several weeks, though, to get what you ordered, so check here early.

3) My Own Labels (www.myownlabels.com): Has some of the prettiest designs for all kinds of labels (especially wedding-related ones), at great prices. Here is a sample of one of their label designs:

I got stickers in this design to put on our Homecoming favor bag tags. There are many other designs at this site, and they offer everything from stickers to tags to bigger labels. Stickers are the cheapest.

4) Amazon (www.amazon.com): Has fab sale prices on all kinds of necessary wedding-related things like shoes, makeup, jewellery, and even apparel. Many of these qualify for free shipping! It's a good source for hard-to-find shoes (in specific heel heights, colors, etc.). I got my mother's bronze, low-heeled sari shoes here:

Of course, I also shopped at all the local craft-supply stores (Michael's, Joann's, Beverly's), and always used their discount coupons. I got wonderful deals here too, but if you're looking for good prices on wedding supplies and apparel, I think internet shopping is a must.

NEVER THE ... BRIDESMAID?

2007-10-24T07:37:00.001-07:00

One of the stranger facts of my life, up until the early months of 2007, was that I had never been a bridesmaid. Ever. It felt kind of odd, because most every girl I know has those stories of Ugly Bridesmaids' Dresses and other such tales of woe that go along with being a bridesmaid in the U.S. Not having a single such story of my own felt kind of liberating. But, it also felt strange, because it seemed as if every woman I know had been a bridesmaid at least once, except for me. I know, I know: count my blessings! But, I also secretly wanted to take part in what seemed like a typical female rite-of-passage, all over the world.

And then, Cathy, whom I'd known since college, asked me to be a bridesmaid in her upcoming wedding. I got all excited, but that started to fade when I looked into buying a bridesmaid's dress in the periwinkle-ish color she'd chosen. They seemed to cost a lot, especially if you included alterations. I just couldn't believe the prices American wedding vendors charged! It was a bit depressing.

Until I struck gold: a random search on eBay unearthed just one dress in that very same color, by that very same manufacturer, in my size! I won the auction, got the dress, found a little gray velvet shrug to match it on clearance at Wal-Mart, borrowed a pair of my mother's metallic shoes, and even did the alterations on the dress (had to raise the hem a bit) with my mother's help. Score! I spent about $30 on the entire thing.

It was a fun and pretty event, I'm glad I got to be a bridesmaid, and I love hanging out with the bride's very awesome family! My mother was also invited, and we both had a really good time. It was held in an old, rustic little country church, waaaaaaaaay out in Dixon, in the middle of fields and meadows. The setting was amazing! It rained cats and dogs that day, but cleared a bit, in time for the photos. We all then went to the groom's family's home for the reception, and I got to hang out with the bride's fabulous cousin and her friend with pink hair, from San Francisco. ^_^ That was rad!

A photo of my mother and me, from the church:

So, we both enjoyed the wedding and the reception! I still don't have any Bridesmaid Horror Stories, but for that I'm glad.

In Sri Lanka, married men and women cannot be in a bridal party (unlike in the U.S.). I asked my mother why this would be, and she said that it's probably because, back in the day, weddings were prime venues for eligible singles to be presented to other people (since Sri Lankan weddings are typically huge). Being a bridesmaid or groomsman would give an unmarried person a lot of exposure and attention (since all the guests would be looking at them), which might well lead to a future marriage proposal for them, as well! This was quite common in my parents' and grandparents' time, and is not unheard of even today. I know of one Sri Lankan couple, here in the U.S., who met when the husband saw his future wife at a wedding! Thus, to this day the custom of having only unmarried bridal party members remains.

The problem with this, of course, is that as you get older the number of unmarried folks decreases, and you cannot include good friends and loved relations in your bridal party because they are married. Personally, I much prefer the western custom of choosing bridal party members who are close to you, regardless of their relationship status. It gives the whole experience a much deeper and greater feeling of closeness and joy. I'm lucky to have wonderful bridesmaids, but poor Asoka has been having a rather difficult time finding unmarried groomsmen! Nevertheless, I think that in the end it will all work out well, and I'm really amused that I got to be both a bridesmaid and a bride-to-be the very same year!

INSPIRATION

2007-10-12T21:21:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons I think I jumped at my wedding sandals (gold/silver tie-ups: see earlier post) was because I've had this image in my head, from my childhood, of a National Geographic magazine photo of a Sri Lankan bridal party, from 1979. I don't know why this photo has so fascinated me for so many years, but it has. It's of a bride, groom, bestman (I think ...) and bridesmaid, all walking down the street in Kandy, the ancient hill capitol of Sri Lanka and my ancestral city, where my mother's family is from. The couple has just gotten married, and are walking from the "kaccheri" or main government office (where the central Kandy marriage registry is located) to the photographer's studio, to get their wedding portrait taken.

For years and years, that's how it was done, in most parts of Sri Lanka. You get married in your family tradition (be it at your home, temple, church, mosque, or just at the registry office), and then you go down to the photographer's studio and get your portrait taken! As a child, I remember going to so many photo studios with my aunts or uncles who just got married, because I was a flowergirl for so many of their weddings.

I've also always adored the city of Kandy (Mahanuwara in Sinhalese); it is by far my favorite city in the world. I love walking around the beautiful Kandy town, visiting the Temple of the Tooth or just walking along the Kandy Lake. No place is as beautiful as Kandy, to me.

I guess all these reasons are a part of why I've always loved this old photograph:

Notice the gold slippers the bride is wearing? And the bridesmaid too? Ever since I was a child, I thought a pair of simple sandals like those made for the perfect bridal footwear. In this day and age, when most brides dressed in traditional Kandyan saris seem to wear glamourous high heels, there is something timeless and lovely about the little gold sandals the bride in this picture wore ... they're perfect for walking in around. And my wedding sandals resemble the bride's sandals in the photograph!

Those days they did not have famous bridal dressers, high-priced sari designers and beauticians, stylists or photographers, like they do for Sri Lankan weddings, today. Not that I'm dissing looking as good as you possibly can on your wedding, but there is something poignant and beautiful about the simpler times of the past, and the weddings like those in this photograph (and those of so many women in my family). This picture has resonated in my conscience for almost thirty years, and that is a testament to both how well a photographic image can tell a story, and how affecting a portrait of real people embarking on a new life can be, even years and years afterwards!

SHOE-IN

2007-10-12T07:24:00.001-07:00

My wedding shoes arrived in the mail, last night! They are just utterly beautiful! They look deceptively simple in the box, but once on they look gorgeous!! They make my feet look graceful and elegant -- it's kind of unbelievable how this simple pair of sandals can do that! That's the mark of a well-designed shoe.

I think I've also found the sari I'm going to wear for our Homecoming. It was in a collection of saris that the sister-in-law of our Punjabi-American friend, Surinder, was selling, and I just jumped at it as soon as I saw it! Surinder was the lady who brought Ammi my lotus-pink engagement sari, also from the Punjab, where her family's from. This new sari is also from there: it's a pure silk crepe, and the color is an unusual reddish-orange. It's got bead and sequin "medallion"-like embellishments in shades of blue-pewter-bronze sewn all over, and it glitters in the light in a way that's just entrancing!

The color of the sari is very similar to this:

Now, to find matching shoes! I thought these from Zappos.com, would match perfectly:

(http://www.zappos.com/n/p/p/7203817/c/61554.html)

SRI-LANKAN WEDDING TRADITIONS: HOMECOMING

2007-10-09T17:21:00.000-07:00

Most Sri Lankan cultural and religious traditions include a second reception following the wedded couple's honeymoon, and given by the groom's family. This is called a Homecoming, and signifies that the groom is "bringing home" a new bride. Long ago, this is what literally happened, as brides went from their homes to their groom's home when they got married. This is still done in many Sri Lankan villages and rural areas (as it also is in many parts of India, including cities), but nowadays, newly-married couples in Sri Lanka most often choose to build and live in homes of their own, even though they may reside with the groom's family until they can save enough money to do so. Grooms might also move in with their bride's family. Whatever the case might be, the Homecoming is as much a Sri Lankan wedding tradition as anything else.

My mother said that Homecomings are supposed to be fun parties, instead of tradition-filled occasions, where the bride and groom can wear whatever style of dress they choose. Of course, this style is always formal, as Sri Lankan wedding celebrations are never casual. However, she said that the Homecoming is the event where a bride can make a "fashion statement" with her dress, if she chooses! Thus, she is not supposed to wear the traditional full red bridal dress, but nowadays this has changed almost completely, and Homecomings have turned into the events where brides wear the red wedding clothes that were once worn as Going Away attire.

I have no idea how this came about! All I can think, for myself, is that the traditional dress code just makes a lot more sense: why on earth wear a full Bridal Dress after the honeymoon?! It's rather absurd. But, that's what's done, these days.

Traditionally, Homecoming celebrations were held in the groom's home, but nowadays some have become as formal as weddings, themselves, and are held in hotels or reception halls. Nevertheless, Homecomings still usually have smaller guest lists than do weddings, and are just not as huge and fancy. In fact, I was told that since our reception hall can have only 200 guests, it is used a lot more for Homecomings than it is for weddings.

Homecoming and Going Away attire are often very similar. A typical Homecoming look for the bride would be:

(courtesy of: http://www.bridesofsrilanka.com/homecomingsaree.htm)
The groom can wear a western, Sinhalese or Indian/Hindu-style suit, but he cannot wear a traditional Udarata Kandyan chieftain's outfit like the ones I described, earlier.

SRI LANKAN WEDDING TRADITIONS: GOING-AWAY

2007-10-09T16:26:00.000-07:00

As in many other Asian cultural traditions I've come across over the years, Sri Lankan brides (as well as grooms) change into a different type of bridal dress at the end of the wedding reception. Just like in the old western (especially British) tradition, this change of dress is called a "going-away" outfit, donned when the couple are getting ready to leave for their honeymoon. However, unlike in the western tradition, Sri Lankan Going Away dress is formal, just like the actual bridal clothes, but may be of different styles or colors. Changing into the Going Away outfit is a practice that spans most Sri Lankan cultures and religions.

The Sri Lankan bride's Going Away dress change is very significant, according to my mother, as it denotes that she is no longer an unmarried woman but a wife who is about to begin a householder's life. In fact, a Buddhist groom has to drape the Going Away sari on the bride's shoulders during the wedding ceremony, signifying that he is assuming care and responsibility for her, from now on, and the Going Away sari is always a gift from him to her.

At the Going Away, both bride and groom pay respects to their family members, which makes for a very emotional time where practically everyone is in tears! In Sri Lanka, this is particularly poignant as most couples do not cohabit before marriage, so unlike in the west, the Going Away truly marks the end of their lives with their families and the beginning of their married lives as a new family!

According to my mother, the Going Away dress is supposed to be as full and formal as the wedding dress, but in a different color other than white or off-white. For Udarata brides, the color is traditionally red, or other colors in the red range like orange or pink, and their Going Away outfit looks the same as their wedding outfits, except for the color change. Here is an example of this:
(courtesy of http://www.bridesofsrilanka.com/hckandyansaree.htm):

(courtesy of http://www.bridesofsrilanka.com/goingawaysareestyles.htm):
Today, however, Going Away dress seems to have morphed into something entirely different, as more and more couples seem to view this as an occasion to make more of a "fashion statement", and try very different styles, such as the Indian-draped sari or the western-style dress, shown below:

(courtesy of http://www.bridesofsrilanka.com/goingawaygowns.htm)

However, according to my mother, this is not Sri Lankan tradition, as the Going Away dress is not supposed to be a "fashion statement", but an outfit of great symbolism and meaning, denoting the couple's change of status from single to married, as well as the beginning of their wedded lives.

Sri Lankan brides are not the only ones who change for the Going Away, as their grooms often do the same. This might not be readily apparent when the groom wears a suit for both the wedding and the Going Away, but when a traditionally-dressed Udarata groom changes into a western-style suit for his Going Away, the change is as dramatic as that of the bride. For example:

(courtesy of http://www.bridesofsrilanka.com/groomwesternsuit.htm; photo by Studio3000DF)

Sometimes, however, a groom who wore a suit for the wedding might change, for his Going Away, into a traditional Sinhalese outfit:

(courtesy of http://www.bridesofsrilanka.com/groomkandyan.htm; outfit by Herucles Tailors)
or a traditional Indian/Hindu outfit:

(courtesy of http://www.bridesofsrilanka.com/groomindiandesigns.htm; photo by Ravindra Silva of Studio Ravi)

SHOE. FLY!

2007-10-05T22:36:00.000-07:00

I found my wedding shoes!!!! They were online, and also on clearance. I knew these were the shoes the moment I saw them! Here's a little picture of them:

I was getting really frustrated because I wasn't finding anything to go with my sari. I need a pair of gold sandals (as most of the brocade and bead work on the sari is gold metallic, with other metallic shades also subtly worked in). But, they also need to be: a) low-heeled and comfortable, since I can't wear heels above an inch for long periods of time spent standing; b) not heavily jewelled or embellished, since that would be waaaaaay too much bling to carry off along with everything on the sari and the seven necklaces; c) special enough to be Wedding Shoes; and last, but not least d) affordable -- which rules out the Manolos and the Jimmy Choos ... sigh. Tall order.

And I wasn't having any success locating a pair of shoes like this, until now. I saw these Hollywould tie-up sandals and just knew I'd feel like a Bride in them! They're everything I've been looking for, and more. I'm soooooooo glad I found them!

ANNOUNCING ...

2007-09-30T15:37:00.000-07:00

I finally finished all my engagement announcements! I made them all by hand, from the template of the card to the card itself, and this is why they took so long. But, they're all done, and I think they turned out beautiful! ^_^ I'm very proud of them.

I got the cardstock and ribbon from Michael's, and the decorative Japanese paper from Art Ellis paper store in downtown Sacramento. In fact, I got the Japanese paper first, because I fell in love with it while browsing through the Art Ellis catalogs. I built the rest of the announcements around the paper, choosing a petal-fold card format so that I could just fold, seal and mail the finished cards. Since the Michael's cardstock was gold on one side, silver on the other, I rubber stamped (by hand) gold flower motifs on the silver side using gold gouache paint. This took a lot longer than I anticipated, but the finished product was well worth it.

Here's a picture of the card, tied closed:

Here is a picture of the wording, inside:

And here's what the fully closed envelope looks like, with the gold stamped flowers:

Lots of work, but I think they turned out awesome, if I do say so myself! I'm so happy I made them.

AFTERNOON SHOWERS

2007-09-14T08:03:00.001-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, my friends threw me a wonderful bridal shower at Danielle's Creperie in Sacramento. It was my very first bridal shower, and I was so thrilled because I'd always secretly wanted one, having gone to quite a few and even organized one, in the past. It was fabulous!

The organizer was Steph, who runs the wonderful local Sci-fi/Fantasy fandom club, Fantastic Froniters, here in the Sacramento area. Everyone who came to the shower -- Wendy, Sam, Vicky and Tree -- was also a member of Fantastic Frontiers, so basically it was a Girl Geek shower! We played some fun little games, ate crepes, and then went back to Wendy's place, where we dug into the delicious double-chocolate cake that Steph had bought, and watched Sam's DVD of the movie Hot Fuzz, which is a laugh-out-loud British police movie farce. That was seriously awesome!

I felt so honored and overjoyed to celebrate with my friends! It's a day I'll never forget.

Here's a picture Tree took of us at Wendy's place:

From L-R: Sam, Steph, Wendy, me and Vicky.

I'll post more shower photos when I get mine developed. In the meantime, if you're a Sci-fi/Fantasy/Science fan of any genre (film, books, TV, gaming or whatever else) in the Sacramento area, you should definitely join Steph's group, Fantastic Frontiers: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fantasticfrontiers/

They're a fun, friendly, fabulous group, and one I'll always be glad I joined! ^_^

IN MEMORIAM

2007-09-05T09:34:00.000-07:00

My cousin, Jeevantha, passed away tragically in a motor-vehicle accident, last week, in Canada. We are all devastated by the news. I just can't believe he's gone.

I console myself with the thought that he was such a sweet, kindhearted, lively, friendly young man (he was only 25), that he cannot be anywhere but in a better place. I just wish he was in our lives, still, but I guess it was just his time to leave us.

I was really looking forward to him being at the wedding. I hope that he will be there, in spirit, along with my grandfather.

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!

2007-08-27T18:51:00.000-07:00

Since Asoka and I both decided to have a smaller wedding (mainly due to the loss of his father, who passed away in early August: Sri Lankan custom frowns upon having a typical, huge, fancy wedding or other family/community event following a recent loss of a close relative), we needed to find a venue that would accommodate a smaller crowd. Now, in Sri Lanka, "smaller" means anywhere from 75-200 guests (typical wedding guest counts being anywhere from 400-800 ... I'm not kidding; my mother's wedding had 1000 guests). Since this is relatively uncommon for morning wedding functions, we were able to locate and reserve a fabulous venue: The On Golden Pond hall at the Taj Samudra Hotel in the heart of Colombo. Here is a photo of it:

The tall windows open up to views of the gorgeous gardens, outside. My mother and I, along with Thambi Uncle, Neera's uncle, went to see it right before we left Sri Lanka, following Asoka's and my engagement, and I just loved it. In fact, I was captivated by the Taj Samudra hotel, itself, which had undergone recent, extensive renovations (it's been around since the 1970's), and its sprawling, lovely grounds. I loved just walking around the Taj! Plus, it's right across the street from the beach at Galle Face! That was perfect. ^_^

SRI LANKAN WEDDING COSTUME, PART 4: MUSLIM

2007-08-21T19:38:00.000-07:00

Sri Lankan Muslim bridal dress is somewhat unique when compared to other styles of South Asian Muslim bridal dress, because in Sri Lanka, Muslim brides most often wear white, Western-style wedding dresses with veils, while most grooms wear Western-style suits. Bridesmaids wear dresses in colors other than white, and flowergirls wear Western-style party dresses. This is different from what Muslim couples wear in other South Asian countries such as India and Pakistan, because in those countries the brides more often wear the heavily-embroidered, colorful "lehenga" (= long skirt and blouse) or "shalwar kameez" (= long blouse over trousers) outfits that are also worn by brides who are Hindu, Sikh, and other religions; also, in these countries, grooms wear the Sherwani-style suits that South Asian grooms wear throughout the subcontinent.

In Sri Lanka, however, most Muslim brides whose pictures I've seen seem to choose white, western-style gowns over other, more traditional Asian styles. For example, here is a Muslim family wedding portrait from a recent wedding in Colombo, Sri Lanka's capitol:
As you can see, the bride's white dress is a lot more modest than most Western wedding dresses, today. Muslim brides cannot bare their arms in sleeveless gowns, and more and more Sri Lankan Muslim women are choosing to cover their heads. This can be seen in some of the women in the photo above, but also more clearly in this bridal party photo, below:
Here, both the bride and her maids have chosen to cover their heads, and all wear western-style gowns.

SRI LANKAN WEDDING COSTUME, PART 3: TAMIL

2007-08-21T19:08:00.001-07:00

Sri Lankan Tamil brides are composed of mostly Hindus and a sizeable minority of Christians, and their bridal dress can vary according to their religious traditions. Above, for instance, is a typical traditional Tamil Hindu bridal costume, which is usually red, orange, pink, or other warm, bright colors (red being the traditional Hindu wedding color). This bridal dress is accompanied by gold jewellery and gorgeous ropes of braided jasmine buds tied to the bride's hair, which is worn either up or braided down her back. Bridesmaids also wear bright colored saris, and flowergirls in Sri Lankan Hindu weddings wear the brightly-colored, traditional South Indian girls' costume, called the "Paavada-Sattai", composed of a floor-length skirt, blouse and sash.

Hindu grooms and groomsmen may wear traditional Indian "Sherwani"-style suits, composed of long, off-white, Nehru-collared shirts, Dhoti trousers and small turbans with a pleat of white fabric in front. Or, they may wear festive, off-white sarongs. Here is an example of a Sherwani-style suit:

Sri Lankan Tamil couples who are Christians usually choose to wear the Christian-style bridal dress I described before, in Part 2.

SRI LANKAN WEDDING COSTUME, PART 2: PAHATHA-RATA BUDDHIST AND CHRISTIAN

2007-08-21T18:21:00.000-07:00

Sinhalese Buddhist brides from the southern parts of the island (or "Pahatha-Rata"), as well as Sri Lankan Christian brides (who can be Sinhalese, Tamil or any other ethnicity) most often choose to wear white or off-white saris with matching veils, as shown below. The saris may or may not have gold or silver embroidery and/or other embellishments, but not other colors. A Sri Lankan Catholic friend once told me that veils were required for brides marrying in the church.

Both the bride and bridesmaids wear their sarees draped in Indian styles (South Indian, Gujarati, etc.), but maids' sarees are not white. Flowergirls wear western-style party dresses (which are often floor-length) in colors to match the bridesmaids' sarees.

In these weddings, grooms and groomsmen usually wear Western suits (as well as tuxedos, which are growing in popularity for wedding wear).

SRI LANKAN WEDDING COSTUME, PART 1: UDARATA BUDDHIST

2007-08-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

Since my non-Sri Lankan friends also read this blog, I thought it would be cool to post some pictures of traditional Sri Lankan bridal dress. This is surprisingly varied even in a country as small as Sri Lanka, representing different religions, ethnicities, and even geographic regions, and people tend to choose the style of dress traditional to their family origins, even if they no longer live in the same area that their families are from.

For instance, since my family is from the central highlands (or "Udarata") of Sri Lanka, and my mother's family is Buddhist, I chose to wear the traditional Buddhist Udarata bridal dress, which is also what all the women in my mother's family have worn, throughout the ages. This is typically what it looks like:

Udarata Buddhists are Sinhalese (unlike Sri Lankan Christians, who can be of different ethnicities), and this traditional style requires the bridal sari to be in a shade of off-white or pale gold, with either gold or silver (or both) brocade work, plus any other embellishments (sequins, beading, etc.) that have become popular in Sri Lankan bridalwear, nowadays. White saris with gold or silver embroidery are also worn in the Udarata style, nowadays, but an Udarata sari can never be pure white, since Sri Lankan Buddhists and Hindus wear pure white mainly to funerals or temple services. The Udarata-style sari drape is worn only in Sri Lanka.

The bride wears seven necklaces, along with her headdress, bangles, and other jewellery. The style of these is South Indian in origin, since it's the same traditional style of necklaces, headdress, etc., worn by South Indian women for special occasions. The bridesmaids wear Udarata-style saris in colors other than that of the bride's sari (pastel and medium colors are traditional, and very dark colors are avoided), and flowergirls wear matching children's half-saris (called "Lamaa-Saris").

Asoka will wear the traditional Udarata groom's costume, shown below (except his jacket will be a brighter red shade):

This used to be the main costume of Udarata chieftains, worn on special occasions. In my great-grandmother's day, even wedding guests (along with the groom) wore this style of dress. Today, it is worn mainly by Udarata bridegrooms, groomsmen, and dignitaries at important temple functions.

MY SISTAHS!

2007-08-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

Here we are with all the girl-cousins! (L-R): Dinali, Chivanthi, Senali, me, Asoka.

Since I have two brothers, my cousins Senali, Dinali and Chivanthi have always been like my sisters. At Shiro Punchi's dinner party, we all got together for another awesome photo. However, Dinali and Chivanthi seem to be the only ones with the sense to actually look at the camera, while Asoka seems to be trying to figure out where to look, and Senali and I are ecstatically gazing at the Spaceship hovering above, ready to beam us up.

ALL THE SISTAHS!!

2007-08-15T07:24:00.001-07:00

Before our engagement ceremony, my aunt Shiromi threw us a fab dinner party (complete with champagne!) at her home. Here, we got a chance to take a great photo of me and Asoka with my mother and aunts, three sisters. My mother is the eldest, Erin Punchi the middle, and Shiro Punchi is the youngest. Here we all are (L-R): Erin Punchi, Asoka, me, my mother, Shiro Punchi (who gave the dinner).

WEDDING SHOES

2007-08-10T06:26:00.001-07:00

I've been trying to find shoes to match the sari I want to wear for my wedding. Since wedding saris in Sri Lanka feature metallic (usually gold, sometimes silver, or sometimes both) brocade and/or embroidery work, matching shoes need to be both metallic and delicate. I want gold threadwork on my sari, since this is traditional, so I've been looking for some nice, gold sandals (closed-toed shoes just don't go with saris).

I looked for such sandals all over London, but could not find any that caught my fancy. One of my biggest problems is that the shoes I wear have to have very low heels; flats would work too, but I think a little, low heel will help me stand straighter and better. So far, most of the gold sandals I've found are either flats or have too high a heel.

Anyway, I found these on the internet, and I really like them, but I'm still looking around. Check them out. The pair below is from the JCrew catalog, and I love the very subtle gold color. I can't decide whether this color would go with my sari better, or whether I should choose a brighter gold.

FEATURE COLOR: METALLIC GOLD

the ones above are by dolce vita, and are found at www.zappos.com -- they're bright but very delicate, and I just adore the gold "birdie" part attached to the straps!

MY BRIDESMAIDS!!

2007-08-09T18:29:00.000-07:00

I'm fortunate to have some wonderful, fun-loving, lively girls as my bridesmaids!

Two are my cousins, Dinali and Chivanthi, shown below at the dinner my aunt Shiromi (their mother) threw for me and Asoka when we got engaged. From L-R: Chivanthi, Asoka, me, Dinali. Both girls are studying: Chivanthi for her school exams, Dinali for the U.K. accountancy exams that will qualify her to be an accountant in Sri Lanka.

My other two bridesmaids, Radha and Neera, live in London; they can be seen below, from L-R: Radha, me, NeeraThey are both the granddaughters of my grandfather's best friend, Mr. Vishvanadhan; my grandfather met Mr. Vishvanadhan and his wife and children in Jaffna, Sri Lanka's northernmost city, when he was stationed in the police force there. My mother, aunts and uncles grew up with the Vishvanadhan children, and we are still very close, to this day.

In London, my mother and I and Mrs. Linda (one of our other teachers at our school, who joined us for a holiday in London) stayed with Mrs. Lakshmi Thavasingham, Mr. Vishvanadhan's eldest daughter. Neera is her younger daughter, and she works as a social worker in London. Radha, who is studying to be a lawyer, is the daughter of Mr. Vishvanadhan's other daughter, Mrs. Arulnayagam.

I feel exceptionally lucky to have found such wonderful bridesmaids! I can't wait for us all to get together in Sri Lanka!

PIX!

2007-08-04T09:09:00.000-07:00

(From Top to Bottom): 1) Our Rings -- I adored my pretty, dainty little engagement ring! I also love his ring, the features of which he chose; my wedding ring, which I'll get on the actual wedding day, January 11, is a slimmer version of his ring. 2) The Mt. Lavinia Hotel: this was taken at the entrance to this beautiful hotel, which is where our reception lunch (following the temple ceremony) was held. The hotel used to be the governor's mansion from the days of British rule, when Sri Lanka was called Ceylon, and it is a most beautiful building with a panoramic view of the coastline from its roof terrace. 3) The last photos of the day were taken at the beach! After hours of arduous posing in the mid-day heat and humidity, I dragged my poor husband and the photographer down to the beach for the final photos! It was so worth it, as the beach shots are, to me, the best of the lot. The soft afternoon light cast a dreamy glow to the images. They turned out so beautiful!

AYUBOWAN!

2007-08-04T08:57:00.000-07:00

Hello!
My name is Anusha and I'm a native of Sri Lanka, though I've lived in California for most of my life (having emigrated here in 1980).

I just got engaged and legally married in Sri Lanka, and wanted to start a wedding blog to recount all the wonderful events and pictures of this most exciting and joyous time. My husband's name is Asoka and he works as an accountant in Colombo, Sri Lanka. We had both grown up in the same neighborhood in Colombo, though we hadn't known that, back then. Indeed, our childhood homes are across the street from each other!

The marriage registration took place at the Bellanvila Buddhist temple (we are both Buddhists) near Mt. Lavinia, Sri Lanka, and the lunch reception afterwards took place at the Mt. Lavinia hotel. My grandfather used to work at this hotel in the 1970s and early 80s, and some of the happiest memories of my childhood are of spending time at this hotel and its beach, so this place has great sentimental meaning and value for me and my mother.

That day was one of the happiest of my life, although I'm saving The Happiest Day for our wedding, which is set for January 11, 2008. I can't wait!